Naruto fanfic Akatsuki Christmas Special Tobi kinda saves Christmas
by Natsu Dragonborn
Summary: Ever wonder what the holidays are like for the Akatsuki for everyone else usually good for Itachi dreadful he just wants them to be over with so this is a story of Itachi trying to just get through Christmas already.
1. Chapter 1

Part 1 Itachi's Pov

Itachi woke up dreading this morning it was Christmas Eve probably his least favorite holiday mostly because of how Tobi acts

(You hear Tobi's voice in the distance) ITTTSSSS CHRISTMAS!

Itachi face palms and says "fuck my life."

His room mate Kisame knocks on the door and says "Hey bro wake up

It's out year to decorate Zetsu."

Itachi sighs and says "Doesn't he find that degrading at all?!"

Kisame laughs a bit and says "Nah he loves it makes him feel pretty."

Itachi got up looked in his closet at all of his Akuatski jackets and he said "Hmmm what should I wear today." He just picked up one of the jackets zipped it up and walked out Kisame was in the living room putting Christmas lights on Zetsu (yes we use Zetsu as a Christmas tree) Kisame turned around wearing a shirt that had a shark dressed as Santa Claus on it.

Kisame laughed a bit and said "Where the hell is your Christmas spirt man?Your just wearing the same jacket you wear everyday."

Itachi shrugged and just sat down on the couch and started watching tv then Kisame continued "Also did you get everyone's presents?" Itachi shook his head an Kisame sighed angrily "Damn it bro it was your turn to buy everyone's presents from me and you."

Itachi sighed "How is it from both of us if only one of us buys them."

Kisame continued to put decorations on Zetsu and said "We write that it was from both of us."

Itachi sat there with a blank look on his face thinking its that simple and Kisame continued "Anyways if you do it I won't make you stay for Christmas you can go do whatever you freakin un Christmas spirited Jew."

Itachi instantly got up and said "I'll do it."

Kisame smiled "Great now go by everyone's house and see what they want for Christmas."

Itachi started heading toward the door when Kisame said "Hold up you also have to wear this." He holds out a red scarf with green Christmas trees on it.

Itachi stared at it blankly and said "Hell no."

Kisame sighed "If you want out of Christmas your gonna have to."

Itachi sighed grabbed the scarf put it on and ran out. As soon as he left Kisame held up a mirror to Zetsu and said "Well what do you think?"

Zetsu started to blush and said "I look so pretty."


	2. Chapter 2

Itachi started walking next door to Tobi Deidara and Sasori's house but as soon as he got close to the door he heard Tobi yelling something about Christmas and Deidara yelling at him telling him to shut up.

Itachi sighed and said to himself "I'm just gonna guess what they want." and pulled out a list he made of what he was gonna get everyone for Christmas he just wrote guess next to all of there names he already had money written down by Kakuzu's name.

He jogged away from the house across the street to Hidan and Kakuzus house. He knocked on the door Kakuzu opened and strangely enough even he was wearing a

Christmas sweater it was a picture of Santa carrying a bag of money though..

Kakuzu laughed a bit and said "I thought you hated Christmas man what's up with the scarf?"

Itachi face palmed "Never mind that can I talk to Hidan I want to know what he wants for Christmas."

Kakuzu looked shocked "Hold up your gonna ask him what you want for Christmas but your not gonna ask me?"

Itachi sighed "I already know what you want it's money right?"

Kakuzu seemed to get happy by hearing the word money and said "Well it's polite to ask!"

Itachi started to get frustrated "What do you want for Christmas Kakuzu?"

Kakuzu was silent for a few seconds and said "Money."

Itachi sighs and says "Okay now can you get Hidan down here so I can figure out what he wants?"

He turned and yelled "Hidan get down here."

Hidan yelled back "I can't I'm busy right now!"

Kakuzu sighed "Stop playing Darksiders for once and come down here!"

Hidan just yelled back "I can't help the fact it's fun!"

Kakuzu sighed and mumbled "He's obsessed with anything with Scythes in it... He wants to know what you want for Christmas!"

Hidan yelled back "A human soul!"

Itachi paused for a moment "Wait what?"

Kakuzu laughed a bit "He's being serious."

Itachi looked shocked and said "How the hell would I even get one of those?"

I heard the sound of things dying in Darksiders and Hidan yelled over it "EBay!"

Itachi just paused and started to walk away as he was walking toward Pain's house he was wondering "Is he being serious... Ill have to check later..."

He knocked on Pain's door and the lead Pain answered he seemed to be the only one not wearing anything Christmasy out of everyone and he said "What is it Itachi the only person I know kinda close to sharing my Pain... Kinda close. But you seem to know the pain of being forced to wear Christmas clothes you poor bastard."

Itachi sighed tired of his pain obsession and said "What do you want for Christmas?"

He instantly replied "Gauges we want more gauges."

I started to say "But don't you have?" Then I heard all of the Pain's say at once from inside the house "Gauges we want more gauges!"

Itachi sighed "Okay okay got it where's Konan so I can ask her what she wants?"

All Pain said was "None of your concern but she just told me she wants Origami folding book."

Itachi just paused "Um okay?"

Pain just stared quietly and said "Remember to learn the pain of falling on a slippery side walk." And he shut the door.

Itachi walked off thinking to himself "I'm surrounded by weirdos."

Itachi kept walking until he got to a small dollar store on the out skirts of his neighborhood he walked in grabbed a shopping cart and started looking he looked around and got a small stuffed tailed beat for Tobi because he seems to like those.

I got Sasori more batteries for his penis sense... His only human parts his heart...

Deidara I got him playdough

and for the Pain's I toke every kind of Gauge I could find when I went to the register she looked at me like I was insane I just handed her Kisame's master card and got the stuff and went out.

When I got home I could still hear Tobi yelling about something and just dropped all the gifts under the Zetsu covered is Christmas ornaments.

Kisame stared at me for a minute "You didn't wrap them?"

Itachi sighed "Why the hell would I wrap them it's not like it'll make the present any better!"

Kisame sighed and said "Fine I will."

Itachi nodded "Good I got to find Hidans present on EBay. Also this is Kakuzu's present." and Itachi pulls a 5 dollar bill out of his pocket.

Kisame sighed "Of course he will love this."

Itachi started scrolling through eBay and what he found amazed him "Um Kisame who the hell would want to buy first Hokage cells?"

Zetsu spoke up and said "You'd be surprised."

Itachi keep scrolling and with wide eyes said "50 shades of Jiraya?!"

Zetsu laughed a bit "Yeah big hit among the women of Konaha and Kakashi."

Itachi realized he forgot to get Konan her present so he shrugged and bought a copy.

He started scrolling again and thought to himself "Holy shit this is where Orochimaru buys his new bodies... why is it theres so many to choose from and he choose a woman last time...

He kept scrolling a bit

Mentally disturbed until he found what he was looking for "Well ill be damned souls..." He just clicked on one and bought it and ordered it with the one hour rush sense they got ninja delivery boys now they can do that.

I got up from the computer and said "Well I'm done I'm going to my room."

Kisame sighed "You sure you don't wanna celebrate Christmas with us bro?

Itachi nodded "positive" then went into his room and shut the door


	3. Chapter 3

Itachi was awoken by a loud scream outside he looked outside and saw a red sleigh crashed on the ground and blood everywhere and Tobi screaming "Pain what the fuck man?!"

Pain sighed and said "The world must know my pain of going without Christmas."

Tobi was on his knee in the snow and said "But did you have to kill all of them? Especially before i got my present?!"

Pain shook his head and said "Nope I sparred Rudolph." He leaned over and started petting Rudolph and said "Shhhhh its okay I understand they wouldn't let me play in the reindeer games either."

Diedara looked at him wierd and said 'That's because you're not a reindeer."

Pain turned around angry and said "THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT!"

Tobi sounded like he was on the verge of crying and said "But didn't Santa anything when you were a kid?"

He sighed and said "NO I was poor! and I was just staring an evil take over the world organization that's frowned upon in most society's!' and he walked off carrying his new reindeer with him.

Tobi stood up and said "Diedara we must save Christmas!"

Diedara sighed and said "How Tobi all his reindeer are dead."

Tobi lifted up the sleigh on its runners and said "Make some of your exploding flying clay holiday reindeer."

Diedara thought about it for a minute and said "Suprsingly that actually sounds fun lets do it!"

Next thing Itachi knew he saw Diedara and Tobi flew into the night sky with a bunch of clay reindeer.

Itachi sighed and said 'I'm surrounded by idiots."

Kisame must have heard him cause he heard him say "Don't deny it it's a Christmas miracle Itachi!"

Itachi rolled his eyes and mumbled "I'm going back to sleep."

Meanwhile downstairs they were opening there presents Sasori opened his gasped and said "It's... a Chuckie doll...ITS WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED!"

Then Kisame opened his and with a shocked expression said "...A KillerBee CD... why the hell did anyone think I would enjoy this?"

Itachi laughed to himself from and mumbled to himself "Merry Christmas Kisame." Then he rolled over and noticed a present on his night stand labeled "To Itachi from your roommate."

Itachi pulled the wrapping off smiled as he stared at it with sad eyes. Then he sat it on his night stand and looked at it until he feel asleep it was framed photo of him a Sasuke's last Christmas they spent together when they were kids.

FIN


	4. Chapter 4

Itachi woke up early that morning the present made him happy but it still wasnn't the same as celebrating it with him for real then in the distance he saw a figure walking toward him as he got closer he saw the spikey hair and said "Sasuke... you came to celebrate Christmas with me?!"

He laughed to himself thinking there may be such thing as Christmas Miracles now they could have a new start be a family again find spouses and start rebuilding the Uchiha clan and spend the rest of our days together learning and having fn like we wanted to when we were kids. Then he saw Sasuke's hand light up and he ran toward him yelling "Chidori!"

Itachi sighed to himself "Never mind he's here to kill me... Merry Fucking Christmas brother. Tysukuyomi!"


	5. Author's notes

_Hey guys Natsu here!_

_This is my first completed story thanks for reading it. _

_Anyways if you guys think I did a good job and should do some more parodies message me comment below and tell me your suggestions!_

_Also any other comments or you just want to talk hmu thanks guy later!_


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